Blessings and Frustrations...

Happy Saturday! We are still at home and loving every minute. Noelle is still absolutely struggling to keep any liquid in her body. I continued to give her the new formula eventhough it is making her have massive diarrhea. The nutritionist at the pulmonologists office was the only one to get back to me on Thursday. She told me to keep up with the new formula. Going back to the old formula, which is harder to digest, may actually be worse for her system. We are still feeding Noelle her regular feedings, however are adding in Pedialyte whenever we can. As of tonight, we run out of the concentrated formula. So, I'll be getting up every 2 hours to change her formula until the concentrated formula shows up on Tuesday or Wednesday.

It frustrated me to no end that I had to call the GI doctor and leave about 4 messages before anyone called me back. Finally, I think my message scared the nurse and the doctor himself finally called me back. He told me that we'll be in for more tests next week if her "situation" doesn't improve over the weekend. He told me that she just needed to hang in there and add fluids all the time. He seemed very distant...like he didn't really care. Whatever...we'll see what happens. Doctors suck sometimes... I wish someone could explain to me how to negotiate with an 18 month old to stop gagging/choking/retching long enough to take the fluid in and then avoid pooping it out.

I went and said goodbye to my job on Friday as well. They had an awesome book of all the classroom pictures and other memories from the past since opening. It was tough. I hated leaving them the way I did. I still hate it. I still miss it. I know pretty much everyone understands why I had to make the decision I made....I just think some wish I had done it in a better way. All I can say...is I agree. I wish I would have been able to give notice. Unfortunately, I couldn't. No one can really, truly understand until they are faced with the same situations. I hope to God that no one else is faced with what we have dealt with in the past few years. I know that God gave us Noelle for a reason and for that we are blessed and thankful. What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. Both of our children are huge blessings and it has been such a pleasure to be parents to such amazing children. Anyways...back to school (I get sidetracked so easily). I had planned on taking Andon with me. But honestly, yesterday was the first day he didn't ask about school. So...he went home with Daddy and I didn't explain where I was going. We are planning some playdates with some of his school friends and signing him up for soccer...so I'm planning on keeping him very busy. Not to mention, we started having "lessons" at home to keep the academic work going during Noelle's naps. He really enjoyed it and loves to learn.

There are so many blessings in our lives right now. I look around during the day and can truly appreciate my kids. I stopped while I was loading the dishwasher yesterday and realized that I was not rushing. I think this is a first! It was a nice feeling that I had all day to get that done. I am so used to rush, rush, rush...get out the door...get home....dinner...baths...bed! Whew....it was a nice realization and I'm lucky to get to experience it. Not to mention, the fabulous time I'm having with the kiddos. Don't get me wrong, being a stay at home mom is the hardest job I've ever had. It is a challenge to keep them busy and to get everything done with Noelle that needs to be done without neglecting Andon. I'm finally starting to get into a groove. I'm starting to find creative ways to entertain Andon while doing things with Noelle. Things are looking up!

Now if we could get Noelle to stay hydrated...we would almost be normal. She has lots of tests coming up in the next few weeks. So, we'll see how we all handle that. Especially dragging Andon around with us. Portable DVD players are wonderful!!! :) :)

Thanks for the continued thoughts and prayers!! We get such wonderful support from the majority of our family and friends. It is amazing to think of how far we've come and how much our family has accomplished! I can't wait to see what the future holds...

xoxo,

Stacie :)